gosh, where do i start. i'm so tired i keep shutting down. and it's soooo terribly hot these days that i'm getting more and more tempted to chop my hair off. it's prob the longest i've had it since coming back to singapore some 10 years ago.

anyway, slept at 4am on thurs morn cos i stayed up to do the promo sign (which i was eventually rewarded with four cakes for). woke up at 645am to go for PDYM. thurs was the worst day of the year i think. i was so dead tired i was barely functioning. managed to last through PDYM, and against my better judgement, rushed straight to work instead of going home first to take a shower/freshen up. bad, bad decision. i won't elaborate much, but all i can say is the hugest thanks to kerk and zhu for being there right when i needed them. for being so jiang yi qi, for going out of their way for me. you guys are the best. :) this huge grin breaks out on my face everytime i think abt what you guys did..haha. tons of thanks to stef too for all the support this past week. it's wonderful knowing you have a friend who doesn't judge you. who provides support and encouragement whether or not she personally agrees with what you're doing. who will drop everything and come straight to find you when you make a call. thanks :) also gotta mention kerk again for knocking sense into me when i was so blinded. only a true friend would care enough to be that frank. and then, there was melvin who missed most of his movie and spent the wee hours of the morning listening to me bitch and whine over prata and ice milo. i'm just glad thursday is over. slept at 4am.

and woke up at 3pm on friday. missed PDYM cos i was in terrible shape and desperately needing sleep. boy does sleep do wonders. work on friday was muchmuch better. but sadly, an extremely gentlemanly colleague quit, so i ended up having to work on saturday too (and had to miss cell!!! arghhhhh). slept ard 430am and woke up at 730am for the last day of PDYM on saturday. another looong day.

rushed to church with stef after PDYM for worship prac. had yummy hor fun in the church office. worship prac was great. i love making music to god. :) rushed home after prac, washed up and managed to squeeze 8 minutes of sleep before having to go down for work. wasn't too bad. the highlight of the day was when a b i d e . came down to cheesecake cafe!!! i was so pleasantly surprised cos i totally wasn't expecting them at all... it was the best thing that could have happened! i was so touched.. like stef said, our cell has really grown so much, in terms of learning to support one another and be part of each other's lives... i was really really touched. apparently they figured that "since rae can't come for cell today, we'll bring cell to her!" awwww. guys, i love you all: peiyun, sam, gerald, barney, elissa, georgie, ezra, christelle and stef. :)

and then today, led worship. from behind the piano again, but it was much better cos i was properly miked up (finally) and i had stef, georgie and peiyun supporting me with vocals. had a blast after service with (part of) the cell. though i was DEAD tired by this time (do your math - very little sleep), i decided to watch Troy with them instead of coming home. and i didn't regret it one bit! :) not only was the movie great, the fellowship was even better. inadvertantly, our table became the "above-18 club" again.. and it's just so heartwarming spending time with pple you've grown up with and grown to love over the manymany years. it's really interesting how we've spent so much time together that we even know the weirdest things like each other's chicken-wing-eating style. haha ;) and how we can so comfortably imagine the future together, without any of the but-we-might-drift-apart qualms.

as the reality of my leaving singapore for 4 years gets more and more, well, real, for lack of a better word, my heart can't help but to ache terribly. i teared today when stef talked to me about preparing the cell for my departure. i love all of them so much, and we've all grown so close.... how can i just leave them like that. it's so hard to put what i'm feeling into words, yet i must try to, cos i know i'll regret it even more if i leave singapore without letting them know how much they mean to me. and the same goes with all my friends.. many times when i spend time alone, i wonder: how am i ever going to survive in US without all of you? i keep trying to avoid this reality..yet the time has come for me to start making preparations. ......sigh.

oh, since yanwei (hellooo!!!) and esther asked..
1. i'm working at The Cheesecake Cafe, a cosy little place along Upper East Coast Road, near siglap centre. their cheesecakes were featured in Lifestyle! and Her World magazine. i work 3 days a week so if you find out from me which days i'm working and come down on those days you'll be able to get a discount and great service (haha).
2. Megapraise (aka XScessive Prayer and Praise) is basically 3 solid hours of praise and worship, led by a solid band (hahaha). i guarantee it will be refreshing, uplifting, ministering - no matter what your walk with god is like, this is something that you will want to experience. it's open to EVERYONE. :) so, it's gonna be on 29th May (Saturday), 7-10pm, Charis Methodist Church. do lemme know if you're interested in coming and i'll provide directions.

<|>